Revenge for a Cold
by vicious-kitsune
Summary: Sequel to Curing a Cold. Sanji gets a chance to have his revenge on Ace for giving him a cold. Oneshot, AceSan


_Disclaimer: I don't own a house, what makes you think I own a manga series?_

_Sequel to Curing a Cold, it'd make sense to read that first._

Revenge for a Cold

Ever since Ace had passed on that cold Sanji had been suffering in some form. It had ranged from minor sniffles to full-blown man-flu, which as every male was aware was just about as bad as it got. For some reason his system had never been able to fully shake the virus.

Part of him had to wonder if it was because he was not applying the old wives method Ace had used when passing it on to him.

He had plenty of opportunity to do it. As the only chef on board it would be all too easy for him to just cough or sneeze over someone's food.

But he couldn't do that, not even to Zoro.

He had a responsibility to make sure everyone's food was as perfect as possible. Admittedly he did always give the more suspicious looking items to his male companions but he never served them anything that was inedible. His pride as a chef would not allow him to deliberately serve something that could cause someone to get sick even if it did mean he could finally be rid of the cold and get to see Zoro suffer in the process.

Sanji had gone to great lengths make sure his germs weren't passed on to anyone by accident. He had borrowed a surgical mask from Chopper and wore it all the time he was preparing food. When he had been really suffering through his man-flu stage it had been disgusting. Sometimes a sneeze would come so suddenly he didn't have time to do anything to prevent himself sneezing into the mask. He was glad that was behind him.

There had also been a time when he had been so ill, his throat so sore that he had barely been able to smoke. On that day he had ignored the stabbing pain he felt in his throat when he first woke and lit up his morning cigarette as usual. The pain in his throat intensified at least ten-fold and he burst into a fit of coughs. Such a thing hadn't happened since he'd first started smoking. He had tried to finish the entire cigarette but had only managed two more drags before he had to give up.

He was glad Chopper had mixed something up that when gargled numbed his throat to some extent, allowing to occasionally smoke that day. Still he had missed having the familiar nicotine in his lungs throughout the entire day. At least thanks to Chopper's medicine that had only lasted for a day and he had been able to resume normal smoking the next day. If he had had to go another day with such a small intake of nicotine he probably would have killed someone.

Still the sniffles were annoying him and there was still the occasional sneeze. Whilst it was nowhere near as bad as it had been he was still sick to the back teeth of the virus.

He just wanted the cold to be gone now. As well as all the inconvenience it caused him he was getting sick of making chicken soup every day and he was fairly sure the other crew members (with the exception of Luffy who was always happy if meat was involved) were sick of seeing a bowl of it accompanying their main meals.

Since it was impossible for him to pass it on through food he could always go for a more direct method like Ace had. He abandoned that thought as soon as it entered his mind.

There was no way he could kiss Nami or Robin without permission as Ace had done with him. There was also no way he could kiss them knowing full well he'd be passing on his germs to them.

So that left him with the male members of the grew. Out of all of them Zoro was the one he'd most like to see sick. But the thought of kissing him made Sanji shudder. He would live with a cold for the rest of his life rather than kiss Zoro. If he were being honest with himself he'd live with a cold for the rest of his life rather than kiss _any_ of his male crewmates.

He could always try just breathing on them. But then again it was only when he was cooking that he wore the surgical mask. He and Zoro had got in plenty of fights since he'd been sick and had therefore been in close proximity. He must have breathed over the swordsman at several different times. Yet Zoro was still a picture of perfect health and he was still sick.

There just seemed to be no way round his problem.

-------------------

Ace was walking through the port when a familiar ship caught his eye. There was no mistaking the Going Merry; it was such a small and cute looking ship that if you didn't know otherwise you'd think it's inhabitants were harmless.

It had been awhile since he'd last seen his brother and the other Straw Hats. The last time he'd seen them had been when Sanji had taken him back to recover from his cold.

He wondered if the method he'd used to get rid of it had actually worked. His cold had cleared up after a couple of days since he left the ship but that didn't necessarily mean Sanji had caught it. After all the cook had claimed that he didn't get ill easily.

Either way Ace supposed he should at least apologise for his actions. He had probably shocked quite Sanji quite a lot when he suddenly kissed him. Even though it had been something he had wanted to do in Alabasta it didn't give him the right to just do it so abruptly.

He turned towards the ship his mind made up to apologise. As long as Sanji didn't want to kill him he could probably get a free meal for the evening out of it too. It'd at least save him having to do another eat and run in a restaurant.

He jumped on board the deck and called out. He received no answer. He assumed they were all still in the town stocking up on what supplies they needed. It looked like he was going to have to wait for them.

He made his way to the kitchen since he was thirsty. He could at least help himself to a glass of water if he could find the cupboard with the glasses in without running into a trap. He wasn't surprised that Sanji had taken to setting traps round the fridge and cupboards. The only thing that surprised him was that the cook hadn't been doing it the first time they met.

He opened the kitchen door to be greeted by a foot rapidly approaching his face. He held up his hand in time to catch Sanji's leg before it could connect.

"Nice to see you too Sanji," Ace stated as he let go of the cook's leg.

"Ace, I didn't realise it was you," Sanji replied.

"Didn't you hear me just now?"

"I didn't recognise your voice."

"I'm certainly sounding a bit different now I'm not bunged up with a cold," Ace said as he noted that by the sounds of things Sanji might be bunged up.

"I noticed," Sanji said as he glared at Ace.

That settled the matter. He had definitely passed on his cold to Sanji. Ace had seen that glare before, usually reserved for when one of his crewmates tampered with the food supplies but had never been on the receiving end of it. It was almost intimidating.

He bowed low to Sanji. It was time for some serious apologising. "I'm really sorry about that Sanji. I didn't really think you'd get this sick. I just thought it'd be fun to try out that old superstitious thing Chopper told me about. I really am sorry."

"Why the hell did it have to be me though?"

"You'd have killed me if I kissed Nami or Robin right?"

"There are other crew members on board this ship besides me and the ladies."

"I guess you're right about that."

"So will you answer my question? Why me?"

Ace knew he was going to have to lie. There was no way he could tell Sanji that he'd been looking for an excuse to kiss him.

Before he could come up with a convincing lie a head connected with Ace's back sending him flying into Sanji.

"It is you Ace!" Luffy declared as he sat upright on his brother's back.

"Haven't you managed to break him out of this habit yet?" Ace questioned as he raised his head a little to look at Sanji.

"That's like trying to stop the tide," the cook stated.

-------------------

Whether Sanji was annoyed with Ace or not he had ended up having to provide the elder D. brother with a meal. Once Luffy had seen him it was inevitable that Ace would stay with them for at least a meal, depending on how long it took for his pose to record his position.

He had been sorely tempted to let a sneeze out over Ace's plate of food. After all it wasn't as if he didn't deserve to have the cold returned to him after all the hell Sanji had been through with it. Even if that was the case Sanji still couldn't pass it on through food.

Though that didn't mean that he didn't mean to pass it on to Ace if he could. After all it had been Ace that had showed him there were other ways of passing on a cold.

The evening meal proceeded with its usually insanity only with the occasional interruption of a splating sound as Ace fell asleep in his food.

With dinner finished the crew had left to pursue their own activities. Sanji was sure Luffy, Usopp and Chopper would be playing some bizarre game of their concoction, Zoro training and Nami and Robin relaxing on the deck each with a book. That left Ace who was still asleep in his bowl of chicken soup. So the cook began to clean up around the other.

He was still in the process of gathering all the dishes when Ace sat bolt upright and began looking round for a napkin to wipe the soup off his face with. With a sigh Sanji handed Ace a napkin. The other took it and scrubbed his face clean. Of all the things he could have fallen asleep in it had to be the soup Sanji thought as he regarded the drops of soup on the table.

Ace caught Sanji's line of vision and was quick to wipe up the mess with the napkin. At least the elder D. brother could read people unlike the younger and knew how to make amends for misdemeanours. Though there was still the one misdemeanour Sanji was fairly sure Ace would never be able to make amends for and one that he was still waiting for answers on.

"You never answered my question earlier," Sanji stated as he continued gathering dishes.

"Luffy kinda interrupted us in case you forgot. Then I figured you wouldn't want it to be brought up in front of others."

"You got that right. But we're alone now, so you gonna give me an answer or do I have to beat one out of you?"

Sanji noticed Ace's hand pause on its way to his mouth holding a spoon full of soup. The spoon descended back down to the bowl in what seemed an ominous manner. Was it even possible for anyone to lower a spoon ominously Sanji wondered as he waited for Ace to respond.

"I guess you just had the misfortune of catching me alone, I didn't really like the idea of kissing anyone with an audience before I jumped ship," Ace lied, thankful that Luffy's catapult had given him enough time to come up with a convincing lie.

"You what?" Sanji seethed as he turned on Ace.

"You wanted an answer I gave you one."

Sanji supposed he couldn't complain on that front, Ace had given him what he wanted. But of all the stupid reasons that was it? He had been worried Ace was going to tell him something else, something that would have changed his perspectives on him forever. At least the ominous spoon had seemed to indicate a much more complicated explanation than the one he had received.

In the end he was grateful it had been such a simple reason. The fact still remained though that Ace had passed on his cold for that simple, stupid reason. That really pissed him off.

Before he even thought about what he was doing he found himself standing opposite where Ace still sat at the table. He leant down and put his right hand at the back of Ace's head, drawing the other up to meet him. He pressed his lips against Ace's.

He barely registered that unnatural warmth again before he realised what he was doing and pulled back. He held Ace's gaze for a moment before going back to the sink to resume cleaning the dishes.

"Do I get an explanation?" Ace asked.

"Revenge is a dish best served with a cold."

Owari

_Not quite sure what exactly inspired this but here it is in all its glory (think sarcastic tone please people). There will be no more fics for this cold theme. I think I've taken it as far as I can; they can't keep trading colds forever. _

_When I started writing this I was suffering from what British uni students call freshers' flu (basically a bad cold) so I was going through hell and felt in the right mindset to write about Sanji's sufferings. Especially not being able to smoke (I know, naughty) which was a real pain. I tried to express it right cos it's a big part of Sanji's character but…meh. It's hard to describe, you either know what it's like or you don't. Least that's what I think; a better writer could probably pull it off though. _

_Hopefully finishing this will get me back into writing and I'll be able to work on other fics again soon. But who knows…_


End file.
